Why Quiet Isn’t Always Calm: Recognising Internal Distress in Non-Verbal Clients
When a client is non-verbal or communicates differently, it’s easy to assume that if they’re quiet, they’re calm. But that’s not always the case. In fact, for many people with disability—especially those who have experienced trauma, anxiety, or sensory overload—distress can be completely silent.
As support workers, it’s critical to look beyond speech and volume, and learn to recognise other signs of emotional or physical discomfort.
Signs of Silent Distress
Avoiding eye contact or increased stillness
Repetitive movements or withdrawal
Delayed or frozen responses
Changes in breathing, posture, or facial expression
Refusing food, activities, or engagement
Subtle physical cues (e.g. tensing, rocking, clenching)
These are not “bad behaviours.” They are often ways of self-regulating or signalling distress when verbal communication isn’t possible.
What Support Workers Can Do
Observe and track patterns—know what “calm” looks like for this person, and what changes.
Respect refusal—if someone pulls away or shuts down, give space rather than pushing.
Use yes/no or visual aids—offer simple ways for the person to indicate what they need.
Be mindful of overstimulation—even a “quiet” room can feel loud to someone sensitive to smells, light, or tension.
Behaviour Is Always Communication
When we listen with more than just our ears, we become better support workers. Recognising internal distress—especially when it’s silent—is an act of respect, care, and emotional safety.
Because quiet doesn’t always mean okay.