In disability support work, the term “challenging behaviour” is often used to describe actions that are aggressive, disruptive, or difficult to manage—such as yelling, hitting, withdrawing, bolting, or refusing to follow instructions. But what if we stopped viewing these behaviours as problems to fix, and started seeing them for what they often are: a form of communication?

Not all disabilities are visible. Some people live with chronic pain, neurological conditions, cognitive impairments, sensory processing differences, or mental health conditions that may not be immediately noticeable to others. And yet, when they ask for support, accommodations, or understanding, they’re often met with a phrase that can feel invalidating and dismissive: “But you don’t look disabled.”