Rethinking “Challenging Behaviour”: What Are They Really Communicating?
In disability support work, the term “challenging behaviour” is often used to describe actions that are aggressive, disruptive, or difficult to manage—such as yelling, hitting, withdrawing, bolting, or refusing to follow instructions. But what if we stopped viewing these behaviours as problems to fix, and started seeing them for what they often are: a form of communication?
Behind every so-called challenging behaviour is a person trying to express a need, a feeling, or a response to their environment. When we shift from control to curiosity, we stop asking “How do I stop this?” and start asking “What are they trying to tell me?”
The Problem with the Term “Challenging Behaviour”
The phrase itself can be stigmatising. It labels the person rather than exploring the context. When we describe someone as a “challenging client” or say “he’s being difficult today,” we unintentionally frame the person as the problem, rather than acknowledging that their behaviour may be reasonable given their experience.
This mindset can lead to:
Quick reliance on restrictive practices (e.g. restraints or seclusion)
Missed opportunities to understand unmet needs
Strained relationships between clients and support workers
Emotional harm or feelings of shame for the person being supported
Reframing our approach helps us move from judgement to understanding—and from reaction to support.
Behaviour Is Communication
People with disability may not always communicate in conventional ways, especially if they have limited verbal language, sensory processing differences, trauma histories, or cognitive impairments. But everyone communicates, even if it’s through actions rather than words.
Common reasons behind behaviours include:
Pain or discomfort (e.g. medical issues, hunger, sensory overload)
Confusion or fear, particularly during transitions or in unfamiliar environments
Emotional distress, including anxiety, frustration, or grief
Need for control in situations where they feel powerless
Lack of communication tools to express wants, needs, or boundaries
Reaction to past trauma or unsafe interactions
Instead of asking, “How do I manage this behaviour?”, it’s often more helpful to ask, “What’s triggering this response?” or “What unmet need might this reflect?”
Trauma-Informed and Person-Centred Responses
Trauma-informed care recognises that many behaviours are adaptive responses to distress or past harm. Instead of punishing the behaviour, we can offer support that’s safe, respectful, and empowering.
Ways to support someone respectfully include:
Observing patterns: When does the behaviour happen? What happens just before or after?
Offering choices: Giving even small choices can reduce feelings of powerlessness.
Using clear, calm communication: Avoid loud tones or rapid speech that may increase stress.
Reducing sensory triggers: Lights, noise, smells, or textures may be overwhelming.
Collaborating with specialists: Behaviour support practitioners, psychologists, and occupational therapists can help develop individualised plans.
Respecting boundaries: Pushing someone beyond their capacity—socially, emotionally, or physically—often backfires.
And most importantly: validate the person’s experience, even if you don’t fully understand it. Trust is built when someone feels heard—not just managed.
Reframing the Role of Support Workers
Support workers are not there to “fix” behaviour—they’re there to support a person in living a meaningful and empowered life. That means:
Looking beyond surface behaviour
Learning the person’s communication style
Acknowledging trauma, neurodiversity, and mental health needs
Avoiding blame, shaming, or over-correcting
Advocating for environments that meet the person’s sensory, emotional, and social needs
When behaviour is seen as communication, the support role becomes less about control and more about connection.
It’s Not “Bad Behaviour”—It’s a Message
All behaviour has meaning. When someone is overwhelmed, scared, frustrated, or confused, their actions reflect that reality. Labelling people as difficult, disruptive, or non-compliant only distances us from the real issue: what they’re trying to say, and how we can help them feel safe and understood.
By listening more deeply—through behaviour, not just words—we create more compassionate, respectful, and effective support for people with disability.
Because everyone deserves to be heard.