“I’m Not Being Rude, I’m Self-Regulating”: Understanding Stimming and Why It Matters
In disability support settings, one of the most misunderstood behaviours is stimming—short for self-stimulatory behaviour. It might look like hand-flapping, rocking, pacing, finger-flicking, tapping, repeating words, or even making certain noises. To the untrained eye, stimming can seem disruptive, inappropriate, or even rude. But for many neurodivergent people—including those with autism, ADHD, sensory processing differences, or intellectual disability—stimming is a vital form of self-regulation.
Instead of trying to “correct” or suppress these behaviours, it’s time we understood their purpose, respected their value, and helped build environments where stimming is accepted—not judged.
What Is Stimming, Really?
Stimming refers to any repetitive movement, sound, or action that helps a person regulate their emotional or sensory state. It can help calm the nervous system, express excitement, release stress, or create a sense of control in overstimulating environments. For some, stimming also supports focus or provides comfort during transitions and social interactions.
While stimming is often associated with autism, it’s not exclusive to any one diagnosis. Everyone engages in some form of self-regulation—think of tapping your foot during a meeting, twirling your hair while thinking, or bouncing your leg when anxious. The difference is that for some people, stimming is more pronounced, frequent, or socially noticeable.
Why Do People Stim?
Stimming serves many purposes, including:
Self-soothing in moments of anxiety, stress, or sensory overload
Excitement or joy, especially when emotions are hard to contain
Focusing attention by blocking out external distractions
Regulating the body after transitions, unexpected changes, or overwhelming stimuli
Non-verbal communication, particularly when speech is limited
When a person stims, they are often doing what they need to feel safe and grounded in that moment.
Challenging Misconceptions
One of the biggest myths about stimming is that it’s a “behaviour to fix.” In reality, suppressing stimming can lead to distress, burnout, and even long-term trauma, especially for people who have spent years masking their needs to appear more “typical” in public spaces.
Another common misconception is that stimming is attention-seeking or disruptive. In fact, most people who stim are simply trying to regulate themselves—not draw attention. Labeling these behaviours as rude or inappropriate often says more about societal discomfort with difference than about the person themselves.
By shifting our mindset, we can replace judgement with curiosity, and correction with compassion.
How to Support Someone Who Stims
Whether you’re a support worker, teacher, parent, or peer, there are several respectful ways to respond to stimming:
Don’t interrupt or draw unnecessary attention unless the behaviour is genuinely harmful to the person or others.
Observe the context: Are they overwhelmed, anxious, or needing space?
Offer options—not ultimatums. If safety is a concern, gently suggest alternative ways to stim (e.g. using a stim toy or changing environments).
Create low-stress, sensory-friendly spaces where stimming is normalised.
Educate others when appropriate—particularly in schools, workplaces, or community spaces—about why stimming is valid and necessary.
Respect autonomy. If the person is communicating that they don’t want support, step back and give space.
It’s also important to ask rather than assume. Some people are happy to explain what their stimming behaviours mean, while others may not want or need to justify them. Both are valid.
Celebrating Neurodiversity Through Acceptance
Stimming isn’t a problem to be solved—it’s part of human diversity. By building environments where people can move, vocalise, and regulate freely without fear of judgement, we send a powerful message: you don’t need to mask who you are to be accepted.
In the disability support space, true inclusion isn’t just about ramps or quiet rooms—it’s about allowing people to exist authentically in their bodies. That includes rocking, flapping, pacing, repeating, or simply being.
The next time you see someone stimming, consider this: they might not be being rude, disruptive, or difficult. They might just be doing what many of us do every day—managing their world in the best way they know how.